Do as I say NOT as I Do!

One of the most frustrating things for students is when a teacher or professor does not hold themselves to the same level or standard they have set for their students.   Directions are non-specific, contradictory or just plain confusing.  Assignments are giving to keep students busy or have no purpose or intent behind them.  Mistakes and errors are in the syllabus, directions and calendar; while emphasis is placed on unimportant information. 

On the other hand, they judge and grade their students to an unrealistic standard.  Giving rubrics that are perception based; grading down and critiquing every aspect of writing assignments and using short answer/essay question tests without any direction.  Information is vague and all over the place, but then they give redundant homework assignments.  Is the purpose to prove they are a difficult teacher?  Shouldn’t their goal be to prepare learners for the future? 

As counselors, consultation and collaboration are two tools we can use to help repair this situation.  Educate teachers; the first step is to model expected behavior.  Part of learning is making mistakes and understanding how to communicate.  Teachers should be flexible, encouraging and supportive; not hypocritical. 

Cut the Cord!!!!

Over the past four weeks the five counselors and myself have been meeting individually with all the students.  In each meeting the student and counselor pick classes for the following year.  Students discussed with their counselors graduation requirements, college admissions requirements, career interests and electives.  Well this week schedules were sent home for the parents to see what their child had registered for; along with detailed instructions to make changes on the sheet if they wanted to switch any class and to return it to the school. 

Soon the deluge of phone calls, emails and several suprise parent visits came.  A handful of parents of incoming freshman created their own four year plans for their children.  They had their child's next four years planned, along with summer school, including every honors and AP class available.  The intensity and control was evident. 

Parents do their children a disservice when they interfer to control, create undue pressure and prevent their child from learning to advocate for themselves.  Take a deep breath!  Have a conversation with your children.  Allow them to grow and change.  Teach your child to take ownership of their life.  Advise and give counsel, do not do for them what they can do for themselves.  Cut the cord!

Who am I?

According to Stanley Coopersmith, self-esteem is made up of four components:  significance, competence, power and virtue.  Self-esteem is the evaluation of one’s own self worth.  This self worth equips students with the ability to be confident and capable individuals.  The four components discussed are similar to the basic described by Glasser:  survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun.  In Choice/Reality Theory we are all driven by these five basic needs.   

From my own experience working with youth, self-esteem is as essential as described above.  Students strive to be accepted.  They desire to be significant to others; both adults and peers.  A sense of accomplishment, power and achievement keeps youth from feeling helpless or inferior.  Through high self-esteem students can begin to identify who they are.  What their values and beliefs are. 

 This comes from personal experience, honest reflection, setting goals and achievement of those goals.  Having a healthy self-esteem does not mean that the person is perfect, but learns from their choices good and bad.  Achieving your goals adds to yourself worth; which in turn helps achieve other goals and wants.  The WDEP system of Reality Therapy is a tool that can be used to help students increase their self-esteem.  First students identify specific wants.  Then students examine what they are currently doing to attain that want.  The next step is evaluating whether what they are doing is working and to make a plan to achieve that want. 

The study skills group I am leading has just started utilizing this goal setting technique.  They have already shared that this has given them the confidence and structure to be academically successful.  Encouragement is another tool that is being used in the study skills group.  As a school counselor my personal goal is to equip students with such tools to build a healthy self-esteem. 

Study, Study, Study...

One of the most common words heard in a high school is study, study and study.  Do students know how to study?  Low standardized test scores and low achievement is a constant struggle in most high schools (Migliazzo, 2006).  Academic standards have become a central focus with No Child Left Behind Act; its purpose to ensure all students meet proficiency standards and have acquired basic skills (NCLB; 2001).  By the time students enter high school, it is assumed that they have the study skills needed to be academically successful (Polloway, Patton & Serna, 2001).  Low achievement scores indicate otherwise.  Students lack the skills and strategies necessary to achieve passing grades and meet mandated standards (Balduf , 2009).  This area of education continues to be neglected and ignored (Fritzen, 2000).  Often students only learn about study skills and strategies, but never understand how to utilize and apply them to specific classes and daily life.  

What classes should I take????

Registration this week has been fun meeting with the student, but disheartening at the same time.  The sophomores are planning their schedules for their junior year.  It amazes me how 16 year olds are planning for a future in which they have no concept of where they want to go or what they want to major in or what careers interest them.  Most colleges require students to take such specific classes to be admitted.  This prevents students from exploring what types of careers might interest them.  Students in inturn choose a college or university based on where their friends are going or the name of the school; instead of looking at the quality of the program they are planning on attaining a career in. 

In today's economy families can't afford $15k a year (which is considered an affordable school).  I believe college and career readines needs to go further than preping for the PSAE or the ACT.  It is equiping students with the ability to begin to understand who they are, what they like to do and what they are good at.  Then having the opportunity to investigate, explore and experience the careers that encompass those qualities.  I never had the opportunity to explore my identity and interests in relation to college/career.  My only experience was taking an interest inventory in high school, getting the results and never thinking or processing beyond that moment. 

After leaving high school I attended junior college.  I had several interests, but no clue how that would turn into a job or a career.  Never once did I see myself completing my bachelors degree.  I majored in business, youth ministry, psychology and education before finally returning back to psychology almost 10 years after graduating from high school.  Now in a few months I will be graduating with my Masters in Counseling.  My goal as a future school counselor is to equip students with the opportunity to truly be college and career ready, to explore who they are and what kind of job they are not only good at, but passionate about!

How many times did you change your major in college?